{"id":845,"date":"2016-10-17T04:12:45","date_gmt":"2016-10-17T04:12:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/?p=845"},"modified":"2017-05-22T18:25:01","modified_gmt":"2017-05-22T18:25:01","slug":"motion-picture-purgatory-van-helsing-2004","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/?p=845","title":{"rendered":"MOTION PICTURE PURGATORY: &#8220;Van Helsing&#8221; (2004)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN! Dracula\u2019s minions morph from hot tarts to naked screaming nippleless bat-women at the blink of an eye (offending protuberances &amp; orifices smoothed off for the action figures)! Silly-putty CGI jaws stretch to ridiculous proportions! The crux of the story has Drac experimenting with werewolf extracts &amp; <em>Frankenstein\u2019s<\/em> recipe to help birth his undead wives\u2019 offspring (technically they\u2019re born dead so they need a kickstart)! Monster-killer <em>Van Helsing<\/em> &amp; his Vatican friar sidekick inventor team up with tight-corseted Transylvanian <em>Kate Beckinsale<\/em> to battle the evildoers (she says \u201coh my gawt\u201d in her silly fake accent so much you\u2019d think it was the laziest of catchphrases)! The heading for this Motion Picture Purgatory which originally appeared in a 2004 issue of The Montreal Mirror was \u201cResurgence Convergence Divergence!\u201d As always; the original art\u2019s for sale @ 100 bucks. More deets below or contact me for info. (To see image full-sized, click on it to open in a new window &amp; use the magnify function).<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/van_helsing.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-846 size-large\" src=\"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/van_helsing-691x1024.jpg\" alt=\"van_helsing\" width=\"627\" height=\"929\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/van_helsing-691x1024.jpg 691w, http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/van_helsing-202x300.jpg 202w, http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/van_helsing-768x1138.jpg 768w, http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/van_helsing.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 627px) 100vw, 627px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Original art for sale for $100.00 CAD. Includes three items total: The pencil art preliminaries, the original finished B&amp;W inks (signed &amp; dated by author\/artist Rick Trembles in pencil on the back), &amp; a color newsprint tear-sheet (or B&amp;W gray tones, depending on when it came out) from where it was originally published. Postage &amp; framing not included. Motion Picture Purgatory Volumes One &amp; Two available at <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.fabpress.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">FAB Press<\/a><\/span>. For original art info, contact Rick Trembles @ ricktrembles (at) hotmail (dot) com.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN! Dracula\u2019s minions morph from hot tarts to naked screaming nippleless bat-women at the blink of an eye (offending protuberances &amp; orifices smoothed off for the action figures)! Silly-putty CGI jaws stretch to ridiculous proportions! The crux of the story has Drac experimenting with werewolf extracts &amp; Frankenstein\u2019s recipe to help birth his undead [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-845","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-motion-picture-purgatory"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/845","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=845"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/845\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":916,"href":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/845\/revisions\/916"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=845"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=845"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.snubdom.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=845"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}